Sex toys are a great way to enhance masturbation. When I first used a vibrator, decided that I could not live without it . Since then, I have never masturbated without sex toys. I’m now the proud owner and a collector of many different sizes and shapes.
It’s one thing to have a mind-blowing sex session on your own, but it’s quite another to share a sexy experience with your partner.
Some people are open-minded to accessories in sex. They don’t feel like a sex accessory is replacing their sex, but they add to the experience and keep things spicy. This is not true for everyone. All of us have our own opinions and fears about our bodies and sexual habits, which is perfectly normal.
What do you do if your partner isn’t interested in a toy for the bedroom?
We spoke to Beatty Cohan, a psychotherapist as well as oral sex toys for men. Dr. Emily Morse from Sex with Emily also offered some tips for couples that aren’t seeing eye-to-eye when it comes time to introduce sex toys to the bedroom.
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Keep your eyes open
Be sensitive to the fact these conversations can be difficult and can make us feel vulnerable, especially if we don’t know if our partner will be open to trying new things. This is where the conversation begins — with a conversation. Cohan states that anyone who wishes to introduce sex toys should be comfortable talking about their reasons for using them.
Morse recommends avoiding these talks immediately before or after sex because emotions can run high during these times.
People who are open to sharing sex toys with their partners should feel comfortable being honest and open about it. The partner asking how they feel should also feel. You should be able to openly discuss with your partner the reasons you might not like this idea. You may be able to come to an agreement through this discussion, but it is possible that you will not. Respect each other’s boundaries and remember that this is only one aspect of your sex lives.
Be gentle and not pushy
If your partner doesn’t want to introduce sex toys, machines, or other sexy items, don’t force them to do so.
Morse emphasizes the importance of being positive, encouraging your partner and telling them how great they are. To make your partner feel comfortable, let them know that they touched you in a place you love and suggest using lubricants or vibrations in the same area.
Try new things without expectations
Try it out first with your partner if they seem open to you. Do not expect this to be your normal. It may be something your partner loves, but it may be something they hate. They may find it something they enjoy doing occasionally, but not all the time. No matter what happens, be respectful of their feelings.
Morse also suggests that you start small if you partner is concerned about losing their device to a USB-recharging or battery-powered charger.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Cohan suggests asking your partner questions to find out why they don’t want to try sex toys. You might find out that they have had a bad experience and are reluctant to try it again. That’s perfectly normal and acceptable. Maybe they had a bad experience with a sexy toy, but are ready to have another go. The important thing is to listen and not to do anything without their permission.